I need to let it out.
I am not sure what I was pondering earlier that made me suffocate in breathing. Generally, it was life. Life was never a beautiful thing to go through, no matter how optimistic you try to look at it. If you are lucky, all the good things happen to you. If you are as you are, and when you finally reach the stage when you see a lot of shits happening around you..
It actually makes you wonder how you had survive this far. makes you wonder how you did not pick up the knife and cut your throat out the moment you discover the reality of life.
Life is not a piece of ribbon weaved around a box of presents waiting for you to be delightful upon receiving it. Life itself is the manifestation of evil ready to tear upon your flesh and soul the one moment you feel like putting your defenses down.
Many people say and always do say how lucky one is still living. I, on the other hand,invite the idea of death. To me, I see no point in going through life every single day, doing things that I do not even know if it is right for me. Everyday is a zombified routine. Isnt that worse than dying?
But i respect the fact that the Creator of my life is not me. I will not take my life away until it is time for me to lose it.
And until I reach that... I will go through life like how it is meant for me.
... A lil break will be nice, though.
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